


The Ángel, the Álvaro, and the Anchovy

by eafay70



Series: A Very Merry "Advent" Calendar [15]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fairy Tale Elements, Family, M/M, Matchmaking, Real Madrid CF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 19:14:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8857543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/pseuds/eafay70
Summary: Krodríguez tells the story of an Argentine matchmaker at Real Madrid. It also happens to be the story of Morisco.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ever since I found out that Ángel di María was born on Valentine's Day, I've wanted to write a story featuring him as a matchmaker. I couldn't get it right in various drafts, but then I stumbled across the fact that he and Morisco were, in fact, at Real Madrid together for a brief time! And so this fic was born.

Toni and James knew that Álvaro and Isco would want to celebrate their goal against Deportivo by scoring more goals at home (yes, everyone at Real Madrid knew the stupid joke), so they volunteered to babysit Isco Jr. that night. They didn't think much of it until after dinner, when they overheard Junior tell the Krodríguez children, "Papi's really mad at Daddy because of the fight on the pitch. I'm glad I can spend the night here."  
"Are you scared that they'll yell?" asked Leon.  
"Yeah. And when they yell and get mad, they forget about me. They didn't even say hi to me when they got home today!"  
Salomé gave Junior a hug. "You can stay with us whenever you're ignored by tío Morisco!"  
"Mo-i-co!" squealed Amelie happily.  
"No, Amelie, tío Morisco isn't being nice!" explained Leon.  
"Mo-i-co!" shrieked Amelie angrily.  
"Exactly!" Salomé encouraged the baby to shake her fists.  
"Na ja, Kinder, ins Bett!" Toni picked up Amelie and walked with her towards the bedroom.  
"Does that mean we have to go to bed?" asked Junior, who didn't speak much German. Leon nodded sadly, and Junior said, "Do we have to, tío James?"  
"Claro que sí." James led the reluctant Junior, Leon, and Salomé to the bedroom. "Would you like to hear a story?"  
"OK," the children chorused.  
So James began to tell a story.

_Once upon a time, in a land on the other side of the ocean, there lived -_

"A prince who lived in a coffee bean!" proclaimed Salomé.  
"And another prince who lived in a cannon next to a metro station!" added Leon.  
"Both true, but not the right land," said the coffee bean prince.

_There lived a prince who was as skinny as a noodle. Because he was born on the 14th of February, he was blessed with the ability to -_

"Play football really well?" guessed Junior.  
"Ball! Ki' ball!" cooed Amelie.  
"Please stop interrupting," requested James.

_He was blessed with the ability to make matches between soulmates. All the prince had to do was make a heart with his fingers and look through the heart at a person to know who that person's soulmate was. He was also very, very, very, good at winning football matches, and one day he was offered the chance to play for an eagle on the other side of the ocean. So he said goodbye to his family and sailed across the ocean in a ship made of noodles._

"Sounds like a waste of noodles to me," noted Toni.  
"Would you rather tell the story?" asked James, clenching his fists and trying not to snap at Toni.  
"No, no! I'm just surprised that he didn't use a mate gourd!"  
"The prince's family lived in the mate gourd," explained James calmly. "He couldn't take their house from them! And they couldn't come with him because they had to make sure everyone danced the tango correctly."  
"Thank you for the clarification, my beloved coffee bean," said Toni. "Please continue, Your Highness."  
"Gladly, Your Coffee Mug-ness."

_After a number of years with the eagle, the prince moved to the greatest club in the world: The Royal White Galactic Meringue Vikings! He had a lot of fun playing there, in part because the others at the club loved to watch the prince make a heart with his fingers and look through the heart, though they didn't really understand why he did it._  
_One day, the prince made a heart with his fingers and looked through it at one of the newcomers to the club: a prince who water-skied on anchovies. The image that greeted him was that of another prince at the club: a prince who loved marinara sauce._

Amelie cooed in confusion. "Marinara sauce is tomato sauce with other yummy stuff in it," explained James. "It's popular in Italy."

_Just to be on the safe side, the next day he made a heart with his fingers and looked through it at the prince who loved marinara sauce. Sure enough, he saw the prince who water-skied on anchovies. And so he decided to bring together this pair._

"It's not going to work," said Junior sadly. "He's going to follow the marinara sauce to Italy, then come back and argue a lot."  
"No, no, Junior!" said Toni. "Just because he goes to Italy doesn't mean it doesn't work! After all, the matchmaking prince left, too!"  
"Really?"  
"Yes," said James.

_Unfortunately, the matchmaking prince was told he was needed to bring peace to a bunch of red devils in a very rainy country with terrible food. He didn't want to rush the matchmaking process, so he told the club that he couldn't leave unless the chef made him a bigger noodle boat. The chef agreed to do so, and the prince had a number of months to make the match._  
_He decided to organize a vacation for himself and a bunch of his fellow princes, but deliberately didn't ask for quite enough rooms at the hotel. This meant that the anchovy prince and the marinara prince had to share a room. Nobody else thought very much of this, as the two princes had been best friends since their first day together at the club. But the matchmaking prince could tell that his plan had worked because he attended a party hosted by the prince who water-skied on anchovies a few months later and noticed that the prince who loved marinara sauce was last to leave. Sure enough, within a week of the party, the matchmaking prince's work was done, for the two princes were in love._

"But then he goes to Italy!" said Junior, almost in tears. "And even though he comes back, they're not in love anymore because they get mad all the time!"  
"Junior, the matchmaking prince got his powers from none other than the L-rd G-d in Heaven," said Toni. "That means that the princes were, indeed, in love. And they're still in love."  
"Exactly," said James.

_You see, the matchmaking prince always prayed for the matches he made, because he knew that G-d would keep the people in the matches happy. After all, his first name was Ángel: even though by this time he had joined the red devils courtesy of a cruise ship made of noodles, he was fairly certain that G-d would listen to his prayers. And he was right: even though the marinara sauce prince followed the aroma of the food cooked by an old lady living in a zebra-striped boot, he and the anchovy prince talked constantly. And after two years, the marinara sauce prince came home to the anchovy prince and the greatest club in the world. Not very long thereafter, they were married. And not long after that, they were blessed with a beautiful baby boy: their son, a prince who traveled in a spaceship the color of marinara sauce that was powered by anchovies. The princes didn't always agree, especially since sometimes they would lose their temper and shout so loudly that they wouldn't notice their son's spaceship flying away with the power of frightened anchovies. But they loved each other and their son more than anything in the world, even more than the Royal White Galactic Meringue Vikings. So they would water-ski together on anchovies to find the spaceship and bring their son back home. And they all lived happily ever after._

"What about the matchmaking prince?" asked Junior with a yawn.  
"After about a year with the red devils, he decided to leave because the local troublemakers kept trying to eat his house. So he sailed a short distance to the City of Light, where everyone was always in love or looking for love. And he, too, lived happily ever after."  
"Good." Junior finally fell asleep, as did his godsiblings.

The following morning, Álvaro and Isco came by to pick up their son. Since all of the kids were still sleeping, Toni was able to tell the Spaniards what Junior had said the previous night, and how the story James told seemed to make him feel better.  
"He once decided to run away and live in the Bernabeu because we ignored him," recalled Isco Sr. "I hope he forgives us."  
"I have a plan," said Álvaro. He didn't say anything else until he heard the children coming, at which point he kissed Isco Sr. passionately.  
"Daddy! Papi!" Isco Jr. ran up to his fathers.  
"JUNIOR! HOORAY!" cheered Álvaro.  
"We love you!" added Isco Sr.  
"I love you, too!" said Isco Jr. "¡VIVA MORISCO!"  
Toni and James high-fived and got to work on breakfast. Everything was back to normal.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed!


End file.
